Today’s guest blogger is a fellow Aggie, deep thinker and a young man who definitely knows how to stand out from the pack, my Lil Big Bro aka Charla’s Mister Man Chris Caldwell. We always find it helpful as well as interesting to gain a male’s point of view on relationships. Today he’s willing to share his thoughts about relationships and traditional gender roles. Catch up with Chris below….
The dynamics of Gender Roles have drastically changed and are not the same as they once were in the past. The idea of traditional relationship roles vary based on an individual’s upbringing, background and overall personal story.
But let’s all agree that for the sake of this post in “traditional relationship roles” (especially in the past) the man is the bread-winner, the authority figure, and has the final say in the home. While the woman is the caregiver and house manager who ensures meals are prepared, children are cared for and the home is in order.
Due to the dynamic growth of women in the workplace, women now more than ever, are on executive teams of Fortune 500 companies, global business owners, establishing prominent careers and truly making their mark in the business world. These are all things that seemed impossible 50 years ago.
There is no question that the evolution of women in this society has directly affected the dynamics of women and their expectations in daily life and to go a step further, what’s expected in their personal relationships. In the past, what one would deem as “The good ole house wife” is now the bread-winner and entitled to her final and equal say. Thus the birth of Superwomen’s partner Ms. Independent!
Please don’t get me wrong there is nothing wrong with a completely independent woman in fact men really do appreciate the independence of a woman and can spot one from miles away. But when it is constantly being flaunted; what choice does a man have but to think that he is not needed. There is no need to scream “I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T Do you know what that means?’ *Webbie voice* from the highest Twitter Cliff and Facebook Mountain top.
I would ask that women find a graceful way to meet men in the middle because men have their own struggles with the traditional gender roles.For example a man is traditional given the role as the initiator/pursuer, the pursuer is a fitting title until your ‘acceptance to rejection’ ratio is below subpar. We do not like rejection any more than woman, but we have been mind molded into thinking that it comes with the territory. As pursuers men must think of every possible outcome before initiating conversation, we have to make assumptions and take control from the very first interaction.
This is where gender roles are created and will be shaped as the friendship grows so both parties must be mindful of what role they would like to play later. It really bothers me when woman assume men are control freaks and our egos are the reason why we want to be the “King of the Castle”. But often times women sit back and allow men to take control by initiating conversation, calling or texting first, planning dates and asking all the hard questions. Then the woman’s best friend has to hear how he was not who you thought he was! Ladies if you want to be in control, what is wrong with going up to a guy you find attractive and initiating conversation or being the first to call or text?
At the end of the day I would like this post to do two things 1) Make women and men aware of how important gender roles are from the beginning of the relationship because they are unspoken. The issue shouldn’t sneak up on the couple when the man says “I put my foot down” or the woman says “I’m not your housewife, I don’t know what you think this is?!”. 2) The world is always changing and I am an advocate for equality in the workplace and at home I would like to see a day where there is a new tradition for relationships that are different from what was originally stated. But it is going to take both men and women to be aware of the issues and stereotypes and be willing to do something different.
What’s your stance on traditional relationship roles?